Hi there, I'm Coco and my second baby girl is due to be born this week! I already have a daughter, Posey who is almost 2 and a half years old. Both of them were conceived through IVF / ICSI treatment and I feel like the luckiest girl alive. Throughout my current pregnancy I've felt pretty good. I've had no sickness or nasty symptoms and just a little tiredness to contend with, probably to do with chasing a toddler around! While I've been extremely fortunate to feel so good over the last 9 months one thing has always been on my mind - how will I feel going from 1 child to 2?
I have repeatedly asked myself how I could ever love another child as much as I love Posey and if I will get the same overwhelming rush of love when I hold my newborn in my arms for the first time. I spent 18 months after Posey was born thinking she'd be an only child before my husband and I decided to 'go for it' again.
So how do I feel knowing my baby's arrival is so imminent?
I guess there are 3 main things on my mind:
- I know I will love my baby as much as I love Posey but how can I show Posey she still means just as much to me?
- I have fears that Posey will feel 'pushed out', especially in the early days while we establish a routine.
- I spent ALL of my time with Posey when she was a baby. This time I have to split my time & ensure both of my girls feel loved and special.
How will I do this?!
I think second / third etc time mums are such a font of knowledge & advice at times like this and certainly some of my good friends who have more than 1 child have given me some good tips on how to make it all work. Things like:
- Don't try to be supermum, it's impossible!
- Try not to have to do anything except be mum. Accept help with jobs at home, shopping, errands etc. Don't plan too much in a day.
- Keep Posey's routine as close to normal as possible. Try and get the new baby to fit in.
- Do things all together, ie. the baby is with Posey and I while we play. She comes with us on preschool runs.
- Share the night feeds with my husband. I'm planning to formula feed plus expressed milk only so we can do this. It'll help me to get enough sleep so I can do plenty with Posey during the day.
- Buy a gift for the baby to give Posey. I have a giant Peppa Pig toy ready!
- Encourage Posey to talk to the baby, help with feeds / changes & reward her with Peppa Pig stickers / chocolate buttons
- Ensure Posey still has play dates / outings with just me & 'us time.' I'm actually secretly looking forward to going on the slides at soft play with her once my bump has gone!
I think taking the above advice and putting it into practice will be great. I'm so excited to become a mum again;
I can't wait to have my 2 girls at home together.